Sometimes I hate Yelp. Because the folks on there really do not know what they are talking about. This place got 3 stars, which isn't a decent rating in my view.

I stopped in here with Joshua Dedora after a hard day's work to quell some of my neverending internal suffering (caused by my constant desire for fried food). We live quite close and have frequently seen their $4.99 hamburger and chips sign while driving by. Never one to pass up five buck chuck, I determined that I must eat here. Our first attempt was foiled once we saw the sign pasted throughout the restaurant: cash only. But this time we came armed with twenty dollar bills. I felt  a little gangsta carrying so much cash (like $100 yo) but that didn't stop me.

The place was empty when we sat down. There is an open kitchen and inside the kitchen was an Asian family. Okay, I thought. So it's not authentic. I'm okay with that. As long as it's cheap and delicious. The father immediately brought us two glasses of water while Joshua and I looked at the menu. I was amazed at the prices. $2 would get you a piece of cod. For eight bucks you can have a 2-piece halibut dinner, or 3 pieces of cod. The combos are served with fries, coleslaw, and soup pop coffee or tea. They also had platters, which included scallops and prawns as well as traditional fish and chips. Three bucks would get you a large clam or seafood chowder. I'm not sure how this works, mathematically, but I like it.

Joshua ordered the seafood platter, which consisted of 3 scallops, 3 prawns, 1 piece of cod, fries, and coleslaw. I got the Cod and Prawn platter which had two pieces of cod and 6 prawns. Each of our plates was $10.50. The menu also boasted onion rings. A large order was only $3, so I went for it.

I had been craving fish and chips ever since I saw the sign for $15 all-you-can-eat fish and chips at Knight and Day restaurant. But when I was ordering a meal that cost less than $15, I knew I was getting more than I could eat.

The prawns were perfectly cooked. The batter was light and not overpowering. Joshua did not share his scallops but he said they were also done perfectly and just melted in his mouth. The cod was my favorite, though. It flaked away nicely. I was worried that the fish would be dry and overcooked, but it was so moist and tender. The batter was not a traditional English beer batter. Joshua said it kind of reminded him of KFC, but I was more closely reminded of the batter they used in savory dishes in Texas. By no means did it detract from the fish, however. Sometimes, with other fish and chips, the batter overpowers the fish and you don't really enjoy the meal. That wasn't the case here at all.

This place won 3rd place for best fish and chips in the Stars of Vancouver. I've been to the first place restaurant. It isn't as good. The portions here are better, the location has more seating and is more welcoming. The prices are much better. And the staff leave you alone, which is something I appreciate. I want to eat in peace. I will ask you if I need something.

I grabbed a menu on my way out the door, in case I want to order pickup sometime. They have two take-out specials. A family pack with 20 pieces of cod, 3 orders of fries, coleslaw, and gravy for only $20.95 and a fish and chips dinner for two with four pieces of cod, two orders of fries, two soups, and two large coleslaws for only $14. Better believe I'm going to be ordering that shit in the near future.

Today I went to The Fair at the PNE in Vancouver for the first time. I've been living here for eight years now, but this is the first I have actually ventured past the gates of the Pacific National Exhibition park. Joshua Dedora accompanied me.

Overall, I was kind of disappointed. After the Texas State Fair, I have high expectations of a major summer fair event. Too also, I grew up only five minutes from the site of the Saanich Fair. So I have a lot of experience with fairgoing. One of the things that really got me was the sheer expense of the PNE. While you could park all day at the Saanich Fair for free, and it was only $10 to park at the Texas State Fair, the parking at the PNE was a jaw-dropping $25. Worse still were the residents of the surrounding neighbourhood, selling spots in front of their houses for over $35 by the time we were leaving. It's absurd. Still, I was willing to pay the price in order to check out the fried food offerings and listen to the sweet sounds of the Dal Richards Orchestra and their big band swing.

Twenty bucks at the door seemed steep to get in. There wasn't a student price, either. But I'd pay that for a ticket to see Dal, so I didn't mind. Our first stop was the exhibitions. We wandered around joking about all the hilarious things we so clearly don't need in our lives. Of course, then I happened upon a stand that was selling these delicious oils and vinegars that I always buy at Pike Place Market. So I had to try some samples. Lo and behold, the prices at the PNE were inflated from what they are at Pike Place. And these are good Canadian dollars too!

Next up, and I had done my research beforehand, was the brand new Crazy Dogs. It's a hot dog stand that features, well, crazy dogs. They have a 2 foot long hot dog covered in a pound of chile, cheese, and other shit. Or a hot dog with perogies on it. Or mac and cheese. Which I actually ate once. With grilled cheese for the bun. Thank you, Roxsane. I opted for the Unroutine Poutine, which featured an 18" hoagie covered in french fries, mozza cheese, gravy, bacon bits, and green onions.

Joshua, on the other hand, selected a different hot dog. I thought he'd go for the perogie dog, but instead he chose the one pictured below. I forget the name, but it has popcorn shrimp, chipotle coleslaw, and cilantro. I tried a bite and it was absolutely delicious. Both dogs were served on a soft pretzel bun, which soaked up the sauce but was still crunch on the inside.

We selected a nice seat on the bleachers and sat down to enjoy our hot dogs while listening to Dal Richards' Orchestra. I was disappointed at the start of the show, which began at 11:30 am, since there were very few in attendance. But once his band began playing, the powerful sounds of an extremely talented and accomplished jazz band lured people in. I watched as people, who were obviously just passing by, were drawn in by the music and stood to listen for a few numbers. Halfway through the show, bellies full of hot dog, the sun got to us and we moved down by a tree. I tried to snap a picture of Dal, but my cell phone is not a proper camera. Suffice it to say, the show was amazing.

Following the show, Joshua and I wandered for a bit. We were waiting until 2:00pm to go see the President's Choice Superdogs. As we made our way around the fair, I spotted a few booths serving deep fried delights. However, nothing was different than the offerings in Texas. With the sun and the outrageous prices, I didn't want to spend $6 on a deep fried mars bar, when I've had it at the Fried Food Capital of the World before. And will again this year. It wasn't until I saw the Strawberry Pop Tart (deep fried, of course) that I caved and forked over $5 to sample it. My justification was rooted in the fact that the fried Pop Tarts in Texas are S'mores Pop Tarts. That plus a $4.50 small drink (and bottles of pop were $3.50!) meant another ten bucks out of my wallet.

The Pop Tart was soggy. What a shame. I had hoped that for once Canada could figure out the fine art of deep fried food (one chef I discussed it with commented that anyone could do it. I assure him now, they can't) but it's obviously too complex for our simple Hoser brains. Soggy Pop Tart killed the fried food mood for me, and I threw it out after eating half.

Next stop: ANIMALS! Or so I thought. A handful of cows, a bunch of horses behind bars so high you can't pet them, and some newborn pigs with big signs warning you not to touch meant that the "petting zoo" and "livestock" exhibit at the fair was a total disappointment. I think I have more animals living in my yard than they had on display at the PNE. And no guinea pigs? What is 4H coming to? Joshua, who grew up on a farm was also disappointed.

So we decided to go for a beer. An eight dollar beer. And then it was time for Superdogs.

Now, the Superdogs were really amazing. I was impressed at their skill, agility, and obedience. They were happy and fluffy and cute and it was a truly wonderful show. However, and I really must say this, it's a real fucking shame when you are watching a bunch of dogs who are better behaved than the audience.

Joshua and I arrived early to select seats at the front. So we could be close to the doggy action. Shortly after we sat down, a woman and three children between the ages of five and seven sat right behind us. Fine. It was a packed house. But before the show even started, the child behind me began kicking the back of my seat. Incessantly. It was enough that-- and I never talk to strangers-- I turned around and asked him to stop. Which he did. For 30 seconds. Then partway through the show, the child's mother came in looking as though she were pregnant with another one. Dear Lord. She sat down. The oldest of the three climbed over his mother and the youngest (the Kicker) and got in the seat behind Joshua. Then he proceeded to make a bunch of irritating noises, while leaning forward right into the space between Joshua's head and mine. His brother resumed kicking my seat. It got to the point that Joshua was even annoyed by it and turned around to ask them to stop. And when he did, the mother shot him a glare as though she would rip his face off. Sorry, lady, but the dogs are better behaved than your children. I won't be kicked or have my personal space invaded. Being a child is not an excuse. If you can't sit still in a theatre, you get to leave. That's how it was when I was growing up.

And while I'm on the subject of poor parenting, let me say this. If your child is old enough to go to the bathroom without assistance, wash his hands without a reminder, maneuver a jammed piece of paper towel from the dispenser, and wait for you until you are done, he shouldn't be in the women's washroom. Leave him outside or if he has to go too, send him into the boys' room. After all, it's for boys.

Of course, I understand the concern over pedophiles and kidnappers and creeps and weirdos and men with candy that has razor blades in it. So if you're paranoid enough to think that sending your kid into the boys' washroom while you wait right outside the door will result in some kind of horrible tragedy, fine. But don't let your kid hold the fucking bathroom stall door for me. It's creepy. Lady, I am creeped out by you and your creepy kid.

But I digress. After the Superdogs show, I was tired of the crowd. The heat was unbearable, and I had spent $125 with nothing but a bottle of Truffle Olive Oil to show for it. Well, that and a very distended stomach. So I was ready to head on home, have a drink, and watch TV without any people around. Which is exactly what I did.

So yeah, the PNE was a little disappointing. But the hot dogs were great. Dal was amazing. And the dogs were cool. Was it worth the money? Probably not. Will I go again next year? Maybe. I really do like Dal Richards. And I want the pin for eating the two foot long hot dog. We'll see.

There are some things that are legends in the world of fast and deep-fried foods. The McRib is one of these. In fact, it is so legendary that it even has its own episode of The Simpsons:

Here's a brief fact summary of the McRib. It was introduced by McDonald's in the early 1980s. By 1985, sales of the sandwich were so abysmal that McDonald's pulled it from the menu. Of course, the sandwich was so delicious that they were forced by the drive of conscience alone to bring it back as a special limited time offering.

In 1994 McDonald's brought back the McRib, concurrent with the release of The Flinstones movie, starring Elizabeth Perkins. You may remember her from David E. Kelly's silver screen debut film From the Hip. Which was, incidentally, about as bad as The Flinstones. The commercial for the McRib took place at RocDonald's, and featured Rosie O'Donnell as Betty Rubble.

The McRib made sporadic appearances from '94 to 2005, when McDonald's announced that the McRib was going to be permanently removed from its menu. At the same time, it secretly launched a marketing ploy called the McRib Farewell Tour, which featured an online photo gallery, petition to save the McRib, and a listing of where and when the McRib could be made available. This is parodied in the Simpson's episode I linked to above.

The McRib was then sporadically available once again. Die hard fans created websites like the McRib Locator. Another man vowed to eat a McRib every day that it was available in his area, earning him the moniker Mr. McRib. And now the McRib is available all across Canada. There is no indication that it's only here for  a limited time, so it may be that this delicious legend is back for good.

Which brings me to today...

I had to do it. The legend was too great, and as a self-proclaimed connoisseur of fried and fast foods, I couldn't not eat it.

And let me tell you, it was delicious. When I saw it in the commercials, I could tell that the pickles and onions would perfectly complement the rib sauce. I was right. The sauce is sticky, sweet, and thick. The onions, while few and far between, added an acidity that the sandwich needs. The pickles create a really tangy element. And unlike the  one slice found on McDonald's Cheeseburger, there are three slices of pickle on a McRib.

One of the most disconcerting parts of the McRib is the lack of bones in the actual rib meat. It's ground pork, not unlike a hamburger patty made of pork meat. However, it is moist, tender, and fatty in the way we expect ribs to be.

I was also extremely worried that the McRib would have significantly less rib sauce than the pictures and commercials purported. But I was pleased to find that the sauce completely drenched both buns, dripped out the side of the sandwich, and got all over my face and hands as I ate. The proper amount of sauce on a sandwich or burger is something that so many fast food menu items get wrong. So I was not only very surprised but also very pleased that the burger did not lack sauce.

If you haven't had the McRib, get yourself to a McDonald's and try it now. The Double Filet-o-Fish only lasted for a few weeks. There's no telling whether this wonderful creation is back for good, or only passing through our lives a short time.

Don't walk away to see if I follow. Don't walk away. Victory's hollow. Been that road, it didn't take us home. Turn around. You won't be alone.

This morning I read an interesting article about a Thomas Jefferson Law School graduate in California who has launched a class action against the law school, alleging that the figures pertaining to post-graduation employment and average salaries of students who graduate have been misrepresented by the school. Rather than reporting students who are employed as Attorneys, the school reports any students who are in any employment, be they waiters, cashiers, or anything non-legal.

The statement of claim can be downloaded here.

It's an interesting notion to consider, especially in light of what I am suspicious is happening at more than this law school. Will there be more lawsuits if this one is successful?

Along that line, I will soon have interesting news to share with everyone who follows this. But I wonder if my many friends who are currently unemployed, or employed as non-lawyers/articled students are contemplating a class action against UBC Law. From what I can estimate, the average debt load of a UBC Law graduate is over $75,000. I'm going to keep a close eye on this lawsuit and the results of it. Any decision rendered by the courts (including the injunctive relief requested by the Plaintiffs to prevent the law school from further misrepresentation) will be noteworthy, considering the circumstances facing my graduating peers from UBC.

Which makes me Dr. Kyla Lee. Funny, that.

In other news, I see you and you're not going to stand in my way any longer. I'm excising demons and one of them is you.

I recently had dinner at La Quercia with Joshua Dedora to celebrate a new job he has found. I was really excited to try it, due to the fact that I have walked by numerous times and glimpsed some really delicious-looking plates. We arrived and were seated next to a table of very drunk middle aged people. The man directly to my left kept inching his chair closer and closer to me, until at one point he actually struck me with his arm while he was gesturing. He didn't notice, which was really frustrating. I would have preferred a less cramped seating environment, but the restaurant had reservations booked solid for two weeks, so there was really no choice.

The food was excellent. We ordered the "alla famigla" style meal, which was $43 each for seven courses. They were willing to accommodate the fact that I don't eat land dwellers, so all our dishes were either vegetarian or fish-based. The first dish to arrive was a cold cod with pickled leeks and a caper and anchovy dressing, alongside a salsa of roasted red peppers and sun-dried tomatoes. I didn't much care for the salsa, but the cod was delicious. It had all the flavor notes of pickled mackerel but it was much milder and more enjoyable. We ate that quickly and anticipated the second course.

Next, came an endive salad with gorgonzola and hazelnuts. It was garnished with these amazing fried croutons that turned to butter when you put them in your mouth. There were large chunks of gorgonzola in the salad, as well as a healthy amount of gorgonzola dressing. I could have eaten that salad morning noon and night for the next five weeks, and died happy. The salad was followed quickly by a cheese souffle with pickled zucchini. It was very good, but a little on the salty side. Actually, it reminded me of a cheese cookie that a family member used to make. This was  good thing, but certainly not what I was expecting.

After the souffle we experienced the first of what would be several long waits at the restaurant. I would say that the quality of the experience started to decline after the appetizer dishes were served. My glass was empty, and the empty plate was still sitting on our table, but no food was coming. It was probably about ten minutes until the next dish arrived. It was a fabulous pasta, hand-made, and stuffed with stinging nettle. I've never eaten stinging nettle before, so it was a totally new experience. This was delicious. The pasta was perfectly al dente. The butter sauce was amazing. My only complaint was that there wasn't enough. Which wasn't really a complaint, because I had started to become very full. We polished off the pasta, our plate was cleared and then we waited.

For a long time. I don't know if there was a problem in the kitchen or what was happening, but given what was in the next dish, it shouldn't have taken so long for it to come out following the previous dish. But finally, we were presented with a spaghetti dish. I took a very small serving and decided to try it out. I was feeling pretty full and we still had three dishes to go. So I took a bite. It was actually really delicious. There were capers and two kinds of olives and anchovy in the sauce. The pasta was very well-cooked, but I suspect it wasn't a homemade pasta this time. However, I think someone added salt to the sauce. The dish was pretty salty, and it didn't need the extra salt on top of all that was in the capers and anchovies and olives. I love salt, but I can see how some people were turned off by this. Plus, I had already finished two cocktails, so I didn't want to order another one.

Next up, after another excruciatingly long wait was our main course. A rainbow trout with grainy mustard, carrots and beans, and mashed potatoes. It was delicious, buttery, and so rich. I could only eat a few bites but I enjoyed each one of them. We were also pretty full after three appetizers, two pasta dishes, and now this. So the carrots and beans didn't really get eaten. According to Joshua, they were delicious. But I don't eat cooked carrots or beans.

This was the end of our enjoyable experience. After we were finished, the plate sat on our table for over half an hour. I was exhausted after a really long and stressful week. Joshua was tired. We were full. It was getting late and we wanted to go home. We had arrived at 5:45 and it was now 8:00pm. I was so tired and bored and full and irritated, that I started playing with the fish head on the plate. While we were sitting there, with a finished plate, waiting for our desert, the waitresses in the restaurant were polishing glasses, setting tables, and chatting amongst themselves. There was no explanation for this. The finished plate should have been taken from our table and our desert brought out. After about half an hour of waiting, Joshua walked over to someone and said that we were ready for the bill and to leave.

It was a pretty sad way to end an otherwise delicious meal. I would have preferred (and indeed, expected) better service from a restaurant like that. I'd like to recommend it to other people, but I don't think after being left there with a fish head and scales on our table for half an hour, that I really want to.  

I'm ready to move out in front. Life without life has no reason or rhyme left. With the rest of them, with the best of them, I want to hold my head up high. I need a goal again. I need a drive again. I want to feel my heart coming alive again. Before the parade passes by.

I'm ready to move out in front. I've had enough of just passing by life.

All of the lights over there seem to be telling me where I'm going. When the whistles blow and the sparkles flash, I'm going to raise the roof, I'm going to carry on.