In this week's edition of Weird and Wacky Wednesdays, we consider legal issues that arise when Captain Kirk masturbates at a bus stop, when peacocks attack, and whether "sugar daddies" have any legal recourse where the relationship is solely one-sided.
(Captain Kirk Caught with Hand Down His Pants
The first case that drew my attention this week, for obvious reasons, was that of James Bundrick, aka James Tiberius Kirk. He was caught masturbating at a bus stop in -- you guessed it -- Florida for a full two minutes while police looked on. Upon his arrest, Mr. Bundrick was asked to give his name. And rather than giving his actual name, he told the police he was James Tiberius Kirk.
Oddly, the police actually searched that name in their police computers to determine whether the would-be Mr. Kirk had any outstanding warrants. Eventually, they realized it was a fake name and also arrested Mr. Bundrick for obstruction. What gets me is that they believed him, and their belief that it was a real name could be sufficient to raise a reasonable doubt that he did obstruct them. The only way he was identified was through facial recognition, which I have to believe raises serious concerns about privacy violations and reliability challenges. It will be very interesting to see how this plays out.
Peacock Attacks Lead to Assault Charge
Anyone who has paid attention to any of the Surrey news over the past few weeks has heard the stories of the peacocks that have driven a man to cut down a tree, and have been attacking cars upon seeing their reflections. But the latest in the peacock saga in Surrey is a criminal charge for assault.
Someone in Surrey was caught by bylaw officers, feeding the birds. Apparently feeding wild peacocks is unlawful in Surrey, which should come as no surprise given how the peacocks have been behaving. Encouraging them to stay will only lead to more chaos.
However, rather than pay the fine or dispute it, the man who was feeding the peacocks grabbed the bylaw officer and tried to hold him there on his property. The police were called, and an assault investigation is ongoing. And it's doubtful that anyone would care about feeding peacocks but for how much attention these crazy birds have been getting in Surrey lately.
The man's actions could have serious consequences. A conviction for assault is the least of his worries: the bylaw officer was a peace officer, and such the man could also face charges of obstruction or of assaulting a peace officer. The penalties for these offences can be much more serious. Long story short: the whole peacock thing is bad news.
Sugar Daddy Deceived? Maybe Not
In one of a billion strange lawsuits, a would-be sugar daddy in Coquitlam has had a partially-successful lawsuit for the tort of deceit. Despite the fact that Mr. Norkum met Ms. Fletcher when she placed her foot in his groin at a strip club, (and not in the peacock attack way, just the... you get it) Mr. Norkum argued that he was deceived by Ms. Fletcher into believing their relationship was really, really real.
Ms. Fletcher, for her part, argued that Mr. Norkum was well aware of their relationship and the arrangement they had. Which arrangement was that he would compensate her for her time and companionship, by showering her with gifts and lavish vacations. This, she argued, included a $200,000 property in Trinidad and over $1 Million in renovations to her home.
But deceit in this case was not limited to a tort. Mr. Norkum apparently put Ms. Fletcher on the payroll of his company, thereby deceiving the government of money spent on personal items when he was basically paying it to his romantic partner for the romance. Not a tax-deductible expense, I'm afraid.
The judge didn't buy either argument. Instead, he found that the renovation and property purchases were not gifts. But also that a man of Mr. Norkum's sophistication ought to be well aware of the type of relationship you get into when it starts with a foot massage of your junk. And so the money that Mr. Norkum spent over the course of the relationship was deemed to be a gift.
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